Whether you’re a diehard NFL fan or just enjoy some good-natured sports humor, Dallas Cowboys jokes never go out of style. America’s Team has one of the most passionate fanbases in football, but they’ve also become prime targets for some hilarious ribbing from rival supporters.
We’ve rounded up the funniest Dallas Cowboys jokes that’ll have you laughing harder than Jerry Jones at a draft day blunder. From their playoff disappointments to those iconic silver and blue uniforms, nothing’s off-limits in this collection of Cowboys comedy. Perfect for sharing at your next tailgate or using to playfully taunt the Cowboys fan in your life.
10 Dallas Cowboys Jokes That Will Make Even the Biggest Fans Laugh
- The Playoff Drought Joke: What do the Dallas Cowboys and a dollar bill have in common? Neither one can go very far in January! This classic joke pokes fun at the team’s notorious playoff struggles since their 1990s dynasty.
- The Stadium Joke: Why is AT&T Stadium so expensive? Because it’s the only place in Texas where you can pay $1,000 to watch the Cowboys lose in person! The massive jumbotron ensures fans don’t miss a single disappointing play.
- The “America’s Team” Joke: How many Cowboys fans does it take to change a lightbulb? Five—one to change the bulb and four to talk about how great the old lightbulb was in the 1990s! Their “America’s Team” nickname often becomes fodder for rival fans.
- The Jerry Jones Joke: What’s the difference between Jerry Jones and a shopping cart? A shopping cart has a mind of its own! The owner’s hands-on approach to team management provides endless material for comedians.
- The Bandwagon Fan Joke: How do you recognize a Cowboys fan? They can name at least three players… from 1995! Many joke that the fanbase still lives in the glory days of Emmitt Smith, Troy Aikman, and Michael Irvin.
- The Super Bowl Joke: What do you call a Cowboys fan with a Super Bowl ring? Grandpa! This joke highlights how no current players have experienced Super Bowl glory with the team since the 1995 season.
- The Optimism Joke: What’s a Cowboys fan’s favorite phrase? “Wait till next year!” This quip targets the eternal optimism of fans who believe each season will finally end the championship drought.
- The Star Logo Joke: Why does the Cowboys’ star have five points? One for each playoff win in the last 25 years! Their iconic logo becomes an easy target when discussing postseason disappointments.
- The December Collapse Joke: Why don’t Cowboys fans put up Christmas decorations? They’re used to watching their team collapse in December! Late-season struggles have become an unfortunate tradition for many Cowboys teams.
- The Rivalry Joke: What’s the difference between a Cowboys fan and a baby? Eventually, the baby will stop crying! This classic NFL rivalry joke works equally well when told by Eagles, Giants, or Washington fans during divisional matchups.
Why the Cowboys Stadium Has a Hole in the Roof
The “hole in the roof” concept has become legendary among NFL fans and spawned countless jokes about America’s Team. This architectural quirk dates back to the Cowboys’ former home at Texas Stadium (1971-2008), which featured a distinctive partial roof with an open section directly above the playing field. The design wasn’t intentional but resulted from abandoned plans for a retractable roof due to structural limitations.
The Weather Excuse
Jerry Jones has a knack for blaming Mother Nature when things go wrong at the stadium. During a November 2024 incident, a metal panel actually fell from AT&T Stadium’s roof during a game, creating fresh material for Cowboys critics. Jones quickly cited “wind gusts” as the culprit behind the malfunction, explaining that strong winds had exacerbated an already loose panel. This wasn’t the first time weather became the scapegoat for stadium issues. Back in 2022, the stadium doors failed to fully open, with officials again pointing to weather conditions as the cause of these operational challenges. Fans and rivals alike have turned these explanations into fodder for jokes about the stadium’s reliability.
The Divine Intervention Theory
Cowboys linebacker D.D. Lewis once famously quipped, “Texas Stadium has a hole in its roof, so God can watch His favorite team play.” This quote has achieved legendary status in NFL lore, even though the fact that AT&T Stadium (opened in 2009) features a fully retractable roof rather than a permanent opening. The divine intervention theory remains a cultural touchstone for Cowboys fans and critics alike, regularly recycled whenever stadium mishaps occur. After the 2024 metal-panel incident, social media erupted with variations of Lewis’s classic line, suggesting perhaps God was expressing disappointment with the team’s performance. The enduring popularity of this joke speaks to both the Cowboys’ cultural significance and fans’ willingness to poke fun at the “America’s Team” moniker.
Dallas Cowboys’ Super Bowl Drought One-Liners
The Cowboys’ 30-year absence from the Super Bowl has become legendary fodder for comedians and rival fans alike. From celebrity roasts to fan meetups, these drought-focused jokes never seem to run dry.
The Calendar Joke
Calendar jokes perfectly capture the Cowboys’ playoff futility with precise timing. “What’s the Cowboys’ favorite calendar month? January—because they’re never in it!” represents a classic example that references how the team typically misses the deeper rounds of the playoffs. NFL fans particularly enjoy these seasonal quips during the winter months when Dallas traditionally falls short of championship expectations. Even Cowboys supporters can’t help but chuckle at the metaphorical link between their team’s struggles and exact times of year. Related variations include baseball-themed humor like “Why don’t Cowboys fans play baseball? They can’t handle a strikeout!” which draws parallels between different sports disappointments.
The Milk Carton Classic
Milk carton jokes highlight the Cowboys’ tendency to “disappear” during crucial moments in memorable fashion. These one-liners typically reference the old missing persons ads that once appeared on milk cartons, applying this concept to Dallas’s vanishing playoff hopes. “Why did the Cowboys player bring a suitcase to the game? He heard it was going to be a long trip to the end zone!” exemplifies this style of humor that resonates with football fans nationwide. TikTok users have embraced this format, creating viral content that describes fan loyalty as “deeper than their playoff drought” – a testament to both the dedication of Cowboys supporters and the length of their championship absence. Snoop Dogg elevated this joke category to national prominence at the 2025 NFL Honors when he remarked, “I remember back when the Cowboys was good… Bill Belichick’s girlfriend wasn’t even born yet,” highlighting the generational gap since Dallas’s last championship appearance.
Jokes About Cowboys Fans and Their Eternal Optimism
Cowboys fans are famous for their unwavering optimism even though decades of playoff disappointment. These jokes capture the essence of that eternal hope and the “next year” mentality that’s become synonymous with Dallas fandom.
The “Next Year” Marathon
Cowboys fans have perfected the art of looking ahead to “next season” while ignoring the current one’s failures. Why did the Cowboys team make an app? To help find the playoffs since they seem to lose their way there year after year. Team coaches aren’t immune either – one reportedly bought a telescope, not to study opposing teams’ strategies, but to look at past victories from the glory days. The phrase “next year is our year” has become such a staple among Cowboys supporters that it could practically be trademarked. Many fans are experts at keeping their hopes grounded even though the high walls surrounding their field – walls that some joke were specifically built to contain overflowing optimism rather than for structural purposes.
The Psychiatrist Visit
Psychiatrist: “So, how long have you been a Cowboys fan?”
Patient: “Since the 90s.”
Psychiatrist: “And how does that make you feel every January?”
Patient: “Like turning off my PlayStation when I simulate them winning the Super Bowl.”
The relationship between Cowboys fans and disappointment has become prime material for comedy. Fans often need psychological support after yet another season ends without playoff success. Mental health professionals joke that they see a spike in appointments after Cowboys playoff losses – if they make it that far. Baseball season provides welcome relief for many fans, offering a temporary break from football disappointment while they reset their expectations for “next year.” Some Cowboys supporters carry maps with them everywhere, not because they’re traveling but because they’re perpetually lost in the past, trying to navigate back to the glory days of the early 1990s.
Rivalry Jokes: Eagles, Giants, and Commanders Edition
When it comes to NFL rivalries, few inspire more creative mockery than those involving the Dallas Cowboys and their NFC East adversaries. Each fanbase has developed its own unique arsenal of jokes aimed at America’s Team.
Philadelphia’s Perspective
Eagles fans have perfected the art of mocking the Cowboys’ failures with ruthless precision. Their jokes frequently target Dallas’s lack of success compared to Philadelphia’s more recent achievements. Eagles supporters love to quip that Cowboys fans need maps to keep track of their many losses throughout the season. Another popular jab points out the Cowboys’ offensive struggles with lines like “Why did the Cowboys quarterback break up with his GPS? It couldn’t find the end zone.” Philadelphia fans particularly enjoy highlighting how Dallas consistently underperforms even though their high expectations and national media attention.
New York’s Take
Giants fans approach their Cowboys ridicule with a distinctly New York flavor, focusing on Dallas’s knack for consistent underperformance. They share similar sentiments with Eagles fans about the Cowboys’ inability to succeed in critical games, but often add their own metropolitan twist. New York supporters frequently joke about Dallas’s tendency to falter during pivotal moments in the season. Many Giants fans have created humorous comparisons between the Cowboys’ performance and their inflated reputation, emphasizing how Dallas rarely lives up to their self-proclaimed status as “America’s Team” even though having the spotlight constantly shining on them.
Washington’s Quips
Commanders fans contribute their own brand of humor to the anti-Cowboys comedy circuit, with particular focus on Dallas’s coaching carousel and strategic failures. Washington supporters often create jokes targeting the Cowboys’ continuous attempts to revamp their team with minimal success. A common theme in their humor involves mocking Dallas’s frequent coaching changes with lines like “Why did the Cowboys change their coach? They needed a ‘new drive.'” Commanders fans also enjoy highlighting how even though Jerry Jones’s constant efforts to buy success, the Cowboys continue to disappoint in the playoffs year after year, providing endless material for Washington’s faithful to use against their longtime rivals.
Jerry Jones Jokes That Never Get Old
Jerry Jones, the colorful Dallas Cowboys owner, has become a comedy goldmine with his quirky personality and memorable one-liners. His self-deprecating humor and outlandish statements have provided endless material for fans and critics alike.
The Owner/GM Dilemma
Jerry’s unique dual role as both owner and de facto general manager continues to fuel countless jokes across NFL fandom. Following the Cowboys’ disappointing 7-10 season in 2024, social media users didn’t hold back, labeling him the “worst owner/joke of the NFL.” Unlike most franchise owners who hire professional GMs, Jones insists on maintaining control over personnel decisions even though decades of playoff futility. He often deflects criticism with humor, frequently crediting personnel executive Will McClay for draft successes while jokingly referencing McClay’s unofficial GM status. During one memorable pre-draft press conference, Jones threw his coaching staff under the bus with the zinger, “Draftin’ is not our problem; coachin’ is” – a direct jab at head coach Mike McCarthy. His tendency to publicly roast his own staff members has become a trademark, especially when defending controversial roster moves like the 2017 first-round selection of Taco Charlton, which he humorously blamed on his son Stephen.
The Fountain of Youth Formula
At 82 years young, Jones consistently dodges retirement questions with witty remarks that have become fan favorites. Rather than discussing stepping down, he frames his longevity as a competitive advantage for the franchise. Public appearances showcase his remarkable energy levels, with viral training camp moments featuring celebrities like Jamie Foxx discussing football strategies. Jones particularly enjoys making jokes about his hands-on management approach, which Coach McCarthy once diplomatically described as both a blessing and a curse. His playful nature extends to player acquisitions too, as evidenced by his 2025 quip about drafting guard Tyler Booker, when he suggested Dak Prescott could perfect the Eagles’ signature “tush push” play: “Put him in there with that big Beebe and Tyler, and we might be able to tush push.” This constant stream of memorable one-liners ensures that Jerry Jones jokes remain evergreen in NFL culture, regardless of the Cowboys’ on-field performance.
Cowboys’ Playoff Performance Punchlines
Dallas Cowboys playoff jokes are a staple in NFL humor circles, with fans and rivals alike taking aim at the team’s postseason struggles. These punchlines have become increasingly popular as the Cowboys continue their pattern of early playoff exits.
The January Vacation Plans
The Cowboys’ tendency to make early postseason exits has spawned many jokes about their January availability. Fans often quip about the team having consistent vacation plans ready for mid-January. One popular joke references “Maps in the Past,” where Cowboys fans reportedly bring maps to games because they’re lost in past glories rather than present success. Another clever punchline involves a “Telescope for Past Wins,” suggesting that Cowboys coaches need optical assistance to view their distant victories. These jokes emphasize how the team seems perpetually stuck reminiscing about their glory days instead of creating new playoff memories.
The Choking Hazard Warning
The Cowboys’ reputation for falling short of expectations has generated a whole category of “choking hazard” jokes. Comedians point out that AT&T Stadium requires “High Walls” to keep fans’ hopes from rising too high, reflecting the team’s pattern of letting supporters down at crucial moments. Another punchline involves fans bringing “Calculators for Losses” to games just to keep track of the mounting disappointments. This theme extends to product-based jokes, with some suggesting the Cowboys should change their name to “Dallas Tampons” because “they’re only good for one period” – a particularly harsh but widely circulated jab at their inability to perform consistently throughout important games. The choking narrative has become so embedded in Cowboys culture that even season tickets have become part of the joke, with fans supposedly displaying them on dashboards to qualify for handicap parking spaces.
Cowboys Merchandise and Memorabilia Jokes
The Dallas Cowboys have one of the most recognizable brands in sports, but that hasn’t stopped fans and rivals from creating hilarious jokes about their merchandise and memorabilia. These witty one-liners often target the team’s lack of recent success while poking fun at their devoted fanbase.
The Trophy Case Dust
The Cowboys’ trophy case has become a prime target for jokes due to their championship drought. A classic question making rounds among NFL fans asks: “Why is the Dallas Cowboys’ trophy case dusty?” The punchline delivers a brutal truth: “Because it hasn’t been used in a while.” This joke perfectly captures the team’s lengthy absence from Super Bowl glory, transforming their once-proud display of Lombardi Trophies into a metaphorical museum of distant memories. Many Cowboys critics share this joke on merchandise like t-shirts and mugs found on platforms like Etsy, where the humor has become a bestselling design among rival fans.
The Bandwagon GPS
The Cowboys’ massive but sometimes fickle fanbase provides ample material for merchandise-related humor. One popular joke asks: “Why did the Dallas Cowboys install a GPS on their bandwagon?” The answer hits home: “To know where the fans are going when they jump ship.” This clever jab references the team’s reputation for having fair-weather supporters who proudly display their Cowboys gear during winning streaks but mysteriously disappear during losing seasons. The joke has inspired many memes and graphics on Pinterest boards dedicated to Cowboys humor. Some enterprising fans have even created actual mock GPS devices with this punchline printed on them as gag gifts for the Cowboys supporters in their lives.
Classic “How Many Cowboys Does It Take…” Jokes
The “how many” joke format has been applied to the Dallas Cowboys with hilarious results. These classic setups deliver punchlines that perfectly capture fans’ frustrations with America’s Team.
The Lightbulb Version
The most famous Cowboys lightbulb joke asks: “How many Cowboys fans does it take to change a light bulb?” The answer? “They wait for the replay.” This joke brilliantly captures the tendency of Cowboys supporters to question every call that doesn’t go their way.
Another popular version of this joke ends with: “They don’t. They just talk about how good the old one was.” This punchline cleverly mocks Cowboys fans’ notorious habit of living in the past and constantly remining everyone about their glory days from the 1990s.
The Super Bowl Version
Cowboys fans have endured decades without a Super Bowl appearance, making playoff jokes particularly painful. A classic example asks: “Why do Dallas Cowboys players make great magicians?” The answer cuts deep: “Because they can make their playoff hopes disappear!”
This joke format extends to other playoff disappointments as well. Cowboys fans often bring maps to games because “they’re lost in the past” – a reference to the team’s inability to recreate their championship success from decades ago. Similarly, when asked why the Cowboys changed their uniforms, the punchline “to blend in with the grass” mocks their tendency to disappear when it matters most.
Another favorite asks: “What’s the difference between the Dallas Cowboys and a dollar bill?” The answer – “You can still get four quarters out of a dollar” – hilariously highlights the team’s reputation for not showing up for all four quarters of important games.
Turning the Tables: Self-Deprecating Jokes for Cowboys Fans
True Cowboys fans know that sometimes you need to laugh at yourself before others can. We’ve collected some of the best self-deprecating jokes that Dallas faithful use to cope with the team’s 28-year Super Bowl drought and playoff disappointments.
Embracing the Playoff Drought
Cowboys fans have mastered the art of joking about their team’s postseason struggles. “The Cowboys’ favorite horror movie? The Playoff Disappearance” has become a classic line among fans discussing their team’s January woes. Another popular self-deprecating quip asks, “How many Cowboys does it take to win a Super Bowl? Nobody remembers anymore.”
Poking Fun at “America’s Team” Status
The iconic “America’s Team” moniker provides ample material for self-aware fans. “Why should Texas secede? So the Cowboys aren’t ‘America’s Team’ anymore” shows how fans humorously question this prestigious title. Loyal supporters often joke, “Why do ducks fly over Cowboys Stadium upside down? Nothing’s worth crapping on” – demonstrating their ability to laugh at their beloved team’s expense.
Mocking On-Field Performance
On-field struggles have inspired some of the most cutting self-deprecating humor. Fans frequently share jokes like “What’s the difference between the Cowboys and a pinball machine? You score more with the pinball” when discussing offensive woes. Defensive shortcomings get equal treatment with quips such as “Why don’t Cowboys eat cereal? The bowl keeps getting stolen.”
Laughing at Fan Loyalty
Cowboys enthusiasts aren’t shy about mocking their own unwavering commitment. “Why do I keep my Cowboys tickets on my dashboard? To park in handicap spaces” showcases the self-awareness about the emotional toll of supporting Dallas. Many fans joke that they’re “folded every Sunday like a dollar bill” yet return the following week with renewed optimism.
Rivalry Self-Awareness
NFC East matchups bring out particularly creative self-deprecating humor. Fans have embraced historical jokes like “When’s the last time the Cowboys beat the Redskins? When they gave them smallpox blankets” – turning painful losses into opportunities for laughter. These rivalry-based jokes help fans process disappointing performances against familiar foes.
This self-deprecating humor serves an important purpose for the Cowboys faithful. The blend of frustration and enduring fandom creates a unique comedic perspective that uses jokes as a coping mechanism for shared disappointments, eventually strengthening the bond between fans during the lengthy championship drought.
The Ultimate Comeback Lines for When Cowboys Fans Hear These Jokes
Dallas Cowboys jokes have become woven into the fabric of NFL culture bringing fans together through shared laughter. Whether you’re a die-hard Cowboys fan learning to laugh at decades of playoff disappointments or a rival fan with an arsenal of Jerry Jones one-liners we’ve covered the full spectrum of America’s Team humor.
These jokes reflect more than just football ribbing—they showcase the cultural significance of a franchise that remains relevant even though championship droughts. From dusty trophy cases to the infamous stadium roof every joke tells a story about the complicated relationship fans have with the Cowboys.
Next time you’re at a tailgate armed with these jokes remember the best fans can laugh at themselves. After all in the industry of football humor the Cowboys might not have won a recent Super Bowl but they’ve certainly won the championship of being the most joked-about team in the NFL.
Frequently Asked Questions
Why are Dallas Cowboys jokes so popular?
Dallas Cowboys jokes are popular because the team has a massive, passionate fanbase and holds the “America’s Team” status, making them perfect targets for rival fans. Their 28-year Super Bowl drought and playoff disappointments provide ample material for humor. These jokes resonate with both dedicated NFL followers and casual sports fans alike.
What are the most common themes in Cowboys jokes?
The most common themes include playoff failures, living in the past, Jerry Jones’ ownership decisions, late-season collapses, the “hole in the roof” at Texas Stadium, the high cost of attending games, and the team’s 30-year Super Bowl drought. Calendar jokes about January availability and “choking hazard” references are particularly widespread.
Do Cowboys fans also joke about their own team?
Yes, Cowboys fans have embraced self-deprecating humor as a coping mechanism for the team’s 28-year championship drought. They create and share jokes about playoff disappointments, the team’s “America’s Team” status, and on-field performances. This shared humor helps fans bond over collective frustrations and turns painful losses into opportunities for laughter.
What makes Jerry Jones a target for Cowboys jokes?
Jerry Jones is a target because of his colorful personality, dual role as owner and de facto general manager, and memorable one-liners. His tendency to deflect criticism with humor and roast his own staff makes him a comedic figure. At 82, he continues to dodge retirement questions with witty remarks and playful comments about player acquisitions.
How have NFC East rivals contributed to Cowboys joke culture?
Each NFC East rival has developed unique jokes targeting the Cowboys. Eagles fans mock Dallas’s playoff failures and offensive struggles. Giants fans emphasize the Cowboys’ consistent underperformance despite high expectations. Commanders fans focus on coaching changes and strategic failures. These rivalries have created a rich tradition of Cowboys-focused humor.
What are “calendar jokes” about the Cowboys?
Calendar jokes highlight the team’s playoff futility, particularly their early exits in January. The most famous example is “January is the Cowboys’ favorite month since they’re rarely in it.” These jokes suggest the team has vacation plans ready for mid-January and reference the contrast between their regular season performance and postseason disappointments.
How has social media affected Cowboys joke culture?
Social media has amplified Cowboys jokes, with platforms like TikTok and Twitter spreading humorous content widely. Celebrities like Snoop Dogg share Cowboys jokes, increasing their visibility. Fans create memes about the team’s championship drought and inconsistent performance. This online sharing has embedded Cowboys jokes deeper into sports culture.
What are some merchandise-related Cowboys jokes?
Merchandise jokes focus on the team’s recognizable brand despite their lack of recent success. Common examples include jokes about dusty trophy cases, GPS on the Cowboys’ bandwagon, and merchandise with outdated championship years. These jokes have inspired actual merchandise designs and memes that poke fun at the team’s championship drought.
